Man on Fire

A strange man came to visit me earlier today. He installed a fire alarm in our house and replaced our fire extinguisher with a new one. At first I thought he was father christmas but apparently not.

By the way. I went to the local bakery the other day to buy some bread. I entered the shop and the baker (a hairy foreign looking man with funny accent) had his shirt off and was rubbing two pieces of dough on his chest. I asked him "Hey, what the fuck are you doing? You can't bake bread on your chest, that's disgusting!". He smiled at me and asked me "Do you want me to show you how I make my doughnuts?". I got mad like a barking dog and threw a loaf of bread at him as hard as I could and ran away. I'll never buy from that godforsaken bakery again.